Is this what life is supposed to be?

[rayvenstar]

It seems that every time I seem to get things under control they go spiraling out of control again. I started to get a handle on things and everything started to make sense and get calm and then everything went haywire again. My emotions are all over the place. The last couple of days I have been so grumpy and horrible to live with. I can't even stand myself. And if I am not at that end of the spectrum then I feel like just crawling into a dark corner and forgetting about life. Sigh.... I really need to find some balance. Maybe I am just trying to hard to do everything at one time. I mean I a mom of 4, I babysit 2, I am trying to get a business off the ground and running, I am a student at Magicka school, I am the person to keep the household bills and accounts paid and balanced. I am charge of keeping the house cleaned up and seem to be the only one cleaning up after everyone. I am in charge of keeping the lawn mowed because try as I might can't seem to get my teenager to do it or my significant other for that matter. I seem to be the only one doing anything around here. Dennis will cook dinner at times but leaves the kitchen an absolute mess. The laundry just seems never ending. I get one room cleaned up and the kids have another room destroyed. I don't even have any time outside of the house or my family for just me. If I go anywhere it is to buy grocerys or household items, or clothes for one of the children. I don't get to go anywhere to just have fun for me. I have to fight for the little time I have for school and meditation. I don't get to play the video games or just relax and watch a favorite movie. Maybe I am being petty but I see everyone around me doing things they get to enjoy and here I am just trying to keep caught up with everything and no down time to speak of. I don't even get to go to sleep and relax because I breastfeed and Rowan still feeds at least twice a night and refuses to sleep in his own bed.
......okay ranting over..... time to just take things one a time and one minute at a time and see what I can get done today......

[Marie Kuby]

Hi rayvenstar

I hope life has started to settle down a bit for you, so feeling less like a roller coaster ride.

Even the best of laid out plans can suddenly go askew without any warning, but when this seems to happen on a regular basis we often feel like pulling our hair out, as though we have hit a brick wall and cannot move any further forward, where instead our lives seem to
be just going around in circles, getting nowhere fast. I feel that it is at this point that we need to take a step back and look at our life as though an outside observer, casting our emotions temporarily aside, so we can get more a clear picture of what is really going on in our lives to cause us so much frustration.

We each plan our lives, where for each commitment we make this in turn brings its own responsibility, responsibilities we often have to meet either on a daily, weekly and/or monthly basis etc., where naturally trying to balance a family life with a career and/or working life is not always easy. Therefore, through time we may discover that we have taken on too many commitments, where in turn we need to decide which of those commitments we are prepared to continue with on our own and/or would it be possible to share some of those same commitments with someone else to help ease our workload and/or could some of those commitments be postponed to a later point in time. In a nutshell, we have to learn to politely say no at times.

There have been a number of TV programs that have featured series based on good housekeeping and family life etc. I watched one not so long ago where the wife spent most of her day cleaning her home instead of taking time out to care for her young children, and an other one where the children were cared for but the house was being
neglected. They have also featured other families where the wife does nearly everything within the home compared to her husband, and/or vice versa, therefore, in instances like these the have got those partners to switch roles, so that they in turn can both experience and appreciate how much their partner does for their family on a weekly basis. It was the renowned Mrs Beeton who had written in one of her books that the only way to keep on top of the housework is to always just do the worst eyesore each day and/or in other words it is impossible to keep a house perfectly clean all of the time, especially with young children. I also remember once having this same discussion with one of my friends, where we both had agreed that we had to lower our house cleaning
standards once our children were born and so in turn should not feel guilty about it, as again no one can do the impossible. You also usually find that if someones husband's mother has done everything for him whilst he was growing up then in turn he does not have have a clue about house cleaning, tidying up, ironing, cooking, gardening, let alone
decorating and minor house repairs, but there can always be a first time even if they do appear to be reluctant. An other friend of mine told me just recently that when all of her sons eventually leave home to get married they will all make perfect wives, as she has encouraged them whilst they were growing up to help her with all her household
chores.

You also mentioned that you are still breastfeeding, so that will be draining you of energy too. Have you had a blood test taken recently, as your iron and/or ferritin levels might be low, which if that is the case then that could be another contributing factor why you have been feeling emotionally down?

You should, however, be really giving yourself a great big pat on the back for all that you are managing to achieve, including being in the throws of starting up your own business.

Warm Wishes and Blessings

Marie